Yet Another Blog Post on the New Noah Movie


I know, Noah. I make that same face whenever I see a new post about how this film is either an atrocity or a masterpiece, depending on who’s talking about it.

This, however, is an objection to the objections of objections to the Noah movie.

….it hurt my brain a little bit to write that, I’m not gonna lie. Basically, I’m causing trouble again, but when is that unusual?

I’m going to admit right now that I haven’t seen the movie, nor do I plan on it. This is not because I have moral objections to the movie or because I believe it’s unbiblical and people are supporting blasphemy if they watch it, as some vehement reviewers have been claiming. (By the way: it’s horrible comments like those that make the world hate any religion, but especially Christianity. But that’s another blog post.)

No, I’m simply not seeing it because I’m a movie hermit. I don’t watch movies very often and rarely rave over them. (See my previous post about being selective in what I like picky.) My objection to this whole shebang goes deeper than criticizing how well done the actual film is. Since I haven’t seen it, I can’t fairly judge that.

This isn’t even a “Oh, all art is beautiful, people; let’s just bake a cake filled with rainbows and smiles and everyone can eat it and be happy and it’s okay if you don’t even go here” post.

This post is due to a chain reaction. The new Noah movie came out. Christians everywhere rioted, claiming it was unbiblical and offensive. Other people, including some Christians, responded to these objections and their comments were less than pleasing, resulting in my objection to the objections of objections. (Dang, that is starting to be really fun to write.)

My objections are a result of the blog posts, comments, and Facebook statuses that I’ve seen, such as:

“Why are we even concerned with a movie about a story from the Old Testament?”

“Who cares if it’s unbiblical? It’s not like they messed up an important story like Mel Gibson did with The Passion of the Christ.” (Which I actually enjoyed. But that’s another blog post.)

“Why are we, as Christians, worried about whether or not a Jewish story, in the Jewish Old Testament, written by Jews, is accurate?”

…..we’re gonna have some issues.

I raise an eyebrow and frown and even get a little irritated because not only does that smack of anti-semitism, but it is also a faulty and irrational argument. Last time I read my Bible, Jesus was a Jew and most of His stories were written by other Jews. It’s easy to forget that, though. We don’t like to think of Jesus as Jewish, nor do we like to acknowledge the fact that Christianity is largely based off of Judaism. We like to disregard the Old Testament except for the Psalms and maybe that cool verse in Jeremiah about God having a plan for us. When connections are made between Christianity and Judaism, however, we squirm and mutter something about being under grace and not the law.

It’s wrong. It does injustice to the many people and writers of both the New and Old Testament, most of whom were Jewish. Do I even need to mention Paul? To quote Adam Sandler: “also a Jew!”

Let me be clear: This is not a post about the negative aspects of Christianity, a religion in which I identify. I’m also not asking all Christians to adopt aspects of Judaism into their lives; that’s not my place and would actually be super obnoxious of me.

Basically, I’m calling for the elimination of apathy.

Do you object to the new Noah movie because you find the fact that Noah wants to murder his newborn granddaughter a slap in the face to all that God stands for? I’ll support you.

Do you love it because you think any instance of the Bible being told to the masses is a positive thing? Cool. Let’s talk about that.

Do you hate it because it’s only slightly based off of the account in Genesis and has some pretty glaring inaccuracies? I’ll see where you’re coming from.

Are you turning up your nose because you’re still bitter and disgusted over Russell Crowe’s singing in Les Misérables? I’ll…okay, I actually liked him as Javier so you’re basically on your own there. 

But please, don’t have a passive attitude simply because it’s a “Jewish” story and therefore not applicable for us and our Christian lives. It’s a weak argument that discredits the entire Bible.

Besides, we can never truly bash a Russell Crowe character as long as this guy exists.


Creepy Marius


An Objection to Frozen


I don’t want to be a Scrooge, especially since people are calling Frozen the best Disney animated film since The Lion King, and I tend to agree. I won’t reveal any spoilers, but it was so nice to see a princess movie veer off the normal “girl in distress gets rescued by the handsome prince” storyline and I appreciated the love of family Disney chose to implement. I wanted to stand up and applaud at the end. The music was beautiful and I loved the movie so much that I saw it twice. (I’m pretty sure I was the only 20-something woman in the theatre without a little daughter. At least the first time I saw it, I had the excuse of my little brother and sister.)

I do, however, have one issue with the movie.

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Oh, Disney. You were so close.

It wasn’t until the second time I saw this movie that the words from the song “Fixer Upper” really set in. (If you haven’t seen the movie, the lyrics can be found here.) I sat straight up in my chair, making the five-year-old girls surrounding me look at me even more warily than they had been before. First, I was just the crazy grown up watching a cartoon with another crazy grownup; now I was the indignant, crazy grown up watching a cartoon with another crazy grownup.

I doubt those five year old girls will read this, but hopefully impressionable pre-teen girls will. Maybe even adult women who need to hear this message will.

You cannot save or change a man, no matter how much you love him. I promise. It will not happen. Please don’t try. It’s not fair to him, and you will only disappoint yourself. (Guys, the same goes for you. The damsel in distress/charming prince relationship only works in Cinderella.)

I understand some people claim that it was written to remind Anna to show some love and compassion towards her sister, but that argument unravels a bit when the lyrics are considered.

He’s just a bit of a fixer upper
He’s got a couple of bugs
His isolation is confirmation
Of his desperation for healing hugs

Nope. It’s a sign that you need to get out. Fast. Let me say it again: You cannot change him. You cannot save him. You are not Jesus.

People have told me I’m overreacting, over-analyzing, and over-thinking this, but as someone who used to fully believe in and romanticize the “I can save him if I date him” mentality, I can tell you that this song is potentially detrimental. We all talk about the danger of little girls receiving unrealistic expectations from society about their looks, but no one raises an eyebrow at a song that suggests that Anna just put aside her misgivings and help out this poor, troubled guy by dating and/or marrying him.

Being pressured into a relationship never ends well, nor does dating him to repair him. Don’t let him and his wounded soul that you want to heal (or his rock/troll family) try to persuade you otherwise. I applaud Disney and Frozen for several reasons, but I think they fell a bit short of the mark with this song.

There is, however, one redeeming quality from this scene. I’m pretty sure we’ve all wished for an Olaf when a supposed knight in shining armor just turns out to be a lunatic in tin foil.

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What do you think? Did the song bother you, too….or do I just have a frozen heart?